From Wilderness to Promise

“The minute I get out of my own way, I will see the road ahead.” -Dominique McCullough.

I have been on this journey since 2015.  Maybe longer and I just was unaware.  My journey started out of pain, hurt and disappointment in myself mainly.  Conscious and unconscious actions and decisions led me down a path of self-destruction.  I had convinced myself that I was destined for a life of struggle.  I would get what I wanted, but it would come harder than everyone else.  As a result, I built this wall to keep hurt and pain away. If anyone tried to enter, I fought like hell.

Yes, I have been on this journey in search of my purpose, my reason for being.  My Destiny…“In the Messiah, He chose us in love before the creation of the universe to be holy and without defect in His presence”Ephesians 1:4 Complete Jewish Bible.  However, what I see is a broken little girl, who grew up to be a broken woman, in search of healing…

I have heard the voice of the prophets, I have heard the small still voice of the Holy Spirit.  I also heard the voice of Fear, and Doubt; Procrastination and Distraction.  Sets of “twins” whose job is to convince me that all God has said about me in Ephesians 1 is not true.  But I have pushed through it, fighting for what God has for me.  Not always leaning on Him, often times leaning on my own understanding.  But God keeps me, covers me, because “In all His wisdom and insight, He has made known His secret plan, which by His own will He designed beforehand in connection with the Messiah and will put into effect when the time is ripe-His plan to place everything in heaven and on Earth under the Messiah’s Headship.” Ephesians 1:8-10 Complete Jewish Bible.  Therefore His plan must come to fruition.  His purpose for me.

tumblr_ogylphrK4S1ut1kpfo1_1280When the launch of Tear The Veil, Inc. did not happen.  I was disappointed and embarrassed. I was faced with yet another hurdle, and although I really tried to tell myself, that this is all in God’s Plan, my mind, was working overtime to show me my failure.  One morning I woke up and found this in my inbox: You have endured everything from inconvenience to hardship with every circumstance leading to the understanding of life, people and yourself.  The lessons learned have been invaluable and ultimately have had the potential of making you stronger than you have ever been as you trust Me in all things.  You are truly being transformed into My image, says the Lord.
2 Corinthians 3:18 So all of us, with faces unveiled, see as in a mirror the glory of the Lord; and we are being changed into His image, from one degree of glory to the next, by Adonai the Spirit. That confirmed it all for me. Tear The Veil Inc., is going to launch as one of the most phenomenal women’s empowerment organizations in this nation…In His timing.

There is a purpose in the wilderness, my wilderness.  In 2015, I traveled to Bali and climbed to the top of the Batur Volcano Mountain.  It took two and half hours. I now understand Deuteronomy 8:2. God speaks to us in the wilderness.  God also humbles and proves us in the wilderness.  The wilderness period can last days, or years, depending on how quickly we learn its lessons.

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In the meantime, I am changing and building a new circle of women, leaving some folks behind, stepping out on faith, doing it Afraid and Alone. WALKING INTO MY DESTINY!!!!

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“Love Yourself” Susan L. Taylor

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I began my subscription to Essence Magazine whenI was 15.  This was at a time when there was no real way of checking if you were old enough to take on that responsibility.  I so looked forward to receiving my monthly copy, just so I can read what the Editor in Chief had to say.  I remember looking at her photo and seeing a Black Goddess.  Her long cornrows, going straight down her back.  The “Essence” of Black Beauty.  Susan L. Taylor, a journalism beast! Susan L. Taylor (born January 23, 1946) is an American editor, writer, and journalist. She served as editor-in-chief of Essence from 1981 through 2000. In 1994, American Libraries referred to Taylor as “the most influential black woman in journalism today”.

Susan Leaves Essence Magazine

“I will be leaving Essence to do what at this juncture in my life has become a larger work for me—building the National Cares Mentoring Movement, which I founded as Essence Cares and today is my deepest passion.”
–Susan L. Taylor, December 28, 2007)

When Ms. Taylor left Essence Magazine, I was devastated.  I sat in disbelief as I read her letter.  Who was going to be my source of inspiration?  see Susan had become my “Judy Blume” at a time when I was not only coming into my womanhood but also my awareness of who I was becoming as a Black Woman.  I grew up in the era of “Black Power” as a child of the ’70’s.  The images of “Black Is Beautiful” was overshadowed by my generation’s need to be all that we can be as an African-American Community, breaking free (or so we thought) from segregation and enjoying the freedoms established by the Civil rights Movement.  Susan, in my eyes, represented the images of the ’70’s, the breaking of barriers, my mirror.   The magazine was never the same.  I let my subscription lapse.  In New York Times article, dated December 28, 2007, it lists all of her accomplishments, especially the reason why she left the magazine- to pursue her desire and passion for helping disadvantaged children.  She is an avid supporter of a host of organizations dedicated to moving the Black community forward. Her passion and focus are on creating equity in education and turning around the nation’s failing schools, which, she says are “the pipeline to prison.” Susan founded the CARES Mentoring Organization to address these issues, that plagues the Black Community.

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So this Women’s Month and International Women’s Day I celebrate Susan L. Taylor! #BeBoldForChange

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Being Intentional, Being Bold

It’s International Women’s Day! And I am changing my circle.  I am changing the way I think, I move, I operate.  With the leading of God, My heavenly Father, I am pushing past FEAR, defying the “Generation X” and like Madam C.J. “On My Own Grounds”.  I am going to so intentional about taking “Me” to the next level, to truly walk into my Destiny that has been calling me for years now.quote-i-have-crossed-over-on-the-backs-of-sojourner-truth-harriet-tubman-fannie-lou-hamer-oprah-winfrey-76-53-88

Happy International Women’S Day #BeIntentional and #BeBoldForChange

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I am in the Purpose Room

How many different ways does someone have to tell you what you what you already know?  How difficult is it to really stand in your purpose so that you can get to your destiny?

During this Lenten Season 2017, my fast will be non-traditional.  Growing up Catholic, we were taught that we must sacrifice our fleshy pleasures for 40 days.  I never understood why, because it is not Biblical and Jesus already atoned for our sins so that we do not have to do these rituals of atonement with whom exactly? God or Self?  In this season, I will fast as commanded by my Lod and Savior Jesus Christ.  “But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, that your fasting may not be seen by others but by your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.”-Matthew 6:17-18.  I will say this, though, I will be in THE PURPOSE ROOM

Passion + Purpose = Destiny

There is a wall.  It is mental. I am reminded of the scripture in Romans 7 “the spirit is willing bu the flesh is weak…” Weak to the invisible wounds that I won’t allow to heal. Allowing myself to be trapped in it because it acts as a shield again pain, hurt and disappointment.  Bishop T.D. Jakes said it best in his book ” Your Mind may guide you in what you do, but your heart affirms your passion for doing it, and that leads you to resolve the way of your life…As you stand back from yourself and see the push of instincts welded with the pull of purpose that leads you into destiny,  you will know the events and circumstances in your life equate to more than just coincidences or mere facts.  The coming together of all of these events and connections, some seemingly random, are the results of divine orchestration to empower to accomplish what God has placed in you.” Destiny: Stepping into your Purpose by Bishop T.D. Jakes.  Like I said, its mental.  I had to chuckle at this passage because, the day before writing this blog, I was sitting in the laundromat, minding my own business, and this woman, randomly (lol) struck up a conversation, about DVD’s that led to the sharing of her failed marriage and confessions of adultery.  I chuckle because of the weekend prior to that encounter, a woman whispered in my ear “Women need to hear our voice…”

I am reading the “Purpose Room” by Heather Lindsey.  I read the sample first. I should have known better. Her books are amazing. I no longer have any excuses as to why I cannot do what God has purposed me to do.  I know that God has a plan for my life.  I am hearing the call so much clearer now.

I have a story, deeply rooted in childhood experiences, distorted by my childhood views and adult point of view. Experiences that served as the pieces of fabric woven together to create the “veil” I am so desperately wanting to tear.

I am finally seeing past the confetti…Finally seeing who God has purposed and destined me to be me to be…16999091_10212289967268694_4978916473972594682_n.jpg

Stepping into my Destiny

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BeyGoals- Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

“Historically, black women’s bodies have been utterly disrespected. We nurtured and fed other race’s children from our breasts. We were raped and bore children for slave masters. And yet, were made ashamed of our bodies, our curves, our blackness…-Adeea Rogers, The TrendySocialite-

 

In this blog post, I want to honor one of the strongest Black Female Artist of this generation.  Say what you want about Beyonce, but even fellow female artist Adele, had to give respect where respect is due.  During her Grammy Award acceptance speech, she stated: “…the way that you make me and my friends feel, the way you make my black friends feel, is empowering.”  She (Adele) was talking about the Album “Lemonade”.  I have to admit that, indeed that album was by far the best call to the world that Black Women are a force NOT to be reckoned with.  With “Formation” she served notice to ALL that she loves her family exactly as they are… And herself, too. Radical. Self. LOVE.

With that said, Bey came under fire (again) about her Madonna-like image and the display of her very much pregnant body.  So clearly they did not get the message in Lemonade.

Psalm 139:14 says: “I thank you because I am awesomely made, wonderfully; your works are wonders -I know this very well. (Complete Jewish Bible Version); the King James Version says “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well..  Either way, Our Creator designed us as Black women so well, that other ethnic groups and race, go through changes to achieve what God gave us naturally.

“Historically, black women’s bodies have been utterly disrespected. We nurtured and fed other race’s children from our breasts. We were raped and bore children for slave masters. And yet, were made ashamed of our bodies, our curves, our blackness.
We were treated as concubines and receptacles for a man’s seed–and frankly, sometimes we still are. Other races are consistently celebrated and heralded for motherhood. Black women are not–definitely not consistently.  
Beyoncé’s performance was a declarative statement. Black women carry and give life beautifully. And that is NOTHING to be ashamed of.
I am a Christian. I am fearfully and wonderfully made–in God’s image. And that includes my blackness. And that includes my femininity. Psalm 139:14 can’t just apply to whom and when you want. I celebrate all the parts of who I am–not just the parts that feed others’ needs or makes them comfortable. *walks away*” –Adeea Rogers of TrendySocialite-

And I concur!

 

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