7 reasons why people’s opinions of you do not matter.

me again

Day 3 of 2016 ended very interestingly. My character was put on display, in a meeting. It could have been a flaw or a trait, depending on who you ask. I say, that today was a character flaw. It was hurtful, because these people once thought that this “flaw” was once a badge of honor, a “that’s just her” but apparently harbored in some ill feeling towards me.

I suppose that it goes without saying that no one likes to be criticized. But yet, it is a reality of life that we must learn to deal with.

Here are the top 7 reasons people’s opinion should not matter:

1-Usually, there is some grain of truth in every criticism. If we will listen to what people are saying . . . we will usually profit from it.

2-Despite criticism, we must be who and what we really are. If people don’t accept you for who you are, they will not accept you for who you try to be!

I have been on a mission to unveil who I am, and while I was hurt by people’s perception of me, it was a moment of realization. A moment for me NOT to take offense, but decide if I want to work on changing to please people or to change because I DON’T like people’s perception of me.

This is is not the first I was faced with this dilemma.

3-Hurt people, hurt people. Sometimes people use a weakness in you to make them feel better about themselves.

4-It’s not PERSONAL. It’s their opinion more times than not based on unfounded facts.

5-The dictionary definition of opinion: a belief or judgment that rests on grounds insufficient to produce complete certainty. So…see #2.

6-Because their criticism of you is rarely about you at all.

What someone thinks about you typically has nothing to do with you—it’s a reflection of them. When someone judges you, you can rest assured that their opinions are based on nothing but their perception of themselves and their own insecurities. They’ve decided to feel a certain way, and you have no control over what other people decide to do.

7-Because you shouldn’t need other people to validate you

Too often, we look outward for validation that we are enough and that we’re doing a good job at existing, but, as I’ve said, other people are stupid. They’re also mean, self-absorbed, judgmental and pretentious, so seeking validation from other people is as futile as it is self-defeating. Why would you even want the approval of people? People suck. People cheat and lie and steal and start wars and squeeze their pimples on public transport and chew with their mouths open. Ask yourself how YOU feel about what you’re doing. If you feel good then that’s all the validation you need.

On a spiritual level, I believe that God tests you to see if you can handle the next level of your life. In life you have to deal with all kinds of people, their opinions, and criticism. If you can’t deal with the “attacks” of those that are close to you, how will you deal with the “attack” of people you don’t know?

Psalm 139:1- O Lord, you have searched me [thoroughly] and have known me.

In every criticism . . . there is some grain of truth! I am learning on this journey of unveiling, that the only True  Judge of Character is the Man who made me AFTER HIS OWN IMAGE! So I am beginning to appreciate that in all things, God has the solution. God is my Father and My Father knows best.

My response to today’s criticisms will be key to me Living with Purpose.  What do I need to unveil about me? What is this “grain of truth” that has me all twisted? What ever it is, I need to ask God to help me work through it and correct the weakness. What I do know, is that today’s event, was hiding “behind the veil” and now that it is exposed, it’s time to correct it.

Today’s event was part of God’s perfect design for me.  I have no choice but to view the criticism as being sent from God.  When some one criticizes us the first thing we should ask is: God, what are you trying to teach me through this?

How do you cope with criticism?  How do you respond?

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Follow me on this journey of unveiling of me…and hopefully you?

Unveiling the beauty within,

Dominique

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Author: Madinina Kiss

I am a Native New Yorker! I found my passion in writing again when I realized we as women of color want to be ALL to everyone and minimum to ourselves, embracing our natural born nurturer instincts. And yet we hide behind a "Veil" of hurt, pain, disappointment and call it "Strength". Unveiled by Dominique is a movement for women of color to tear the the veil and reveal our true beauty and strength. There is Power in Transparency!

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