I knew that God wanted to do something new in my life and heal the wounds of my past. I was so sure, that when the theme came to my spirit, I was confident that I was hearing the voice of God. “From Girlhood to Womanhood…A Journey- Healing the Invisible Wounds.” A voice within that needed to be heard, because I was all too familiar with the “invisible wounds”. The date was set. November 11, 2016. I was excited, determined, but also without direction and guidance from the One who called me… Adonai, El-Shaddai, My Lord, My Father. I trusted people to help me carry this vision. I was promised a venue. I had speakers lined up. I had sponsors. The harder I worked, the harder it got. I was looking for support from friends and family, but when that did not seem to happen, I allowed disappointment, self-doubt, and failure to consume me. I was talking a good game of faith but didn’t have any. I found myself alone, hurt and disappointed…Right, where God wanted me.
Yes, God did want to do something new in my life and heal the wounds of my past. Yes, I know that part of my destiny is to help other women. He was bringing back to my remembrance the Prophetic Word over my life concerning this, and in my mind, what better time to go forth than when I myself am going through…We can all heal together, right?
We often times like to assign blame to the enemy what it is God saying “No, not yet.” I was convinced that the enemy was trying to silence me. Keep me from my Purpose and Destiny by throwing distractions my way. The harder I fought, the weaker I got. I am not a quitter so I held on until I had no choice but to “let go”. To drop it, and admit defeat and failure. Leaving me feeling embarrassed.
Willing to “Let Go” of the Old.
“Letting go” seemed to be a common theme for me toward the end of 2016. I have been searching for the door to freedom. Looking back at my blog posts here on Unveiled By Dominique, I saw the detailing of my different journeys but like the Israelites searching for the Promise Land, going around in a circle. I started on a 40 Day Journey and only got up to Day 15. I didn’t know what I was holding on to. I mean, I did…Something in my childhood. A familiar feeling, a spirit that plagued me all of my life. I just could not identify it. There seemed to be an unwillingness to face my own demons and heal. Holding on to the pain because it justified my current situation. When that “demon” is all you know, “letting go” is not easy.
All Things work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose.