In the series entitled “Wilderness to Promise”, and this journey of self-healing, I never took into account my relationship with money. Throughout this journey, I have talked about, mainly, my spiritual health. I talked about my mental health and my physical health. There was still something missing, I was still feeling unhappy as if something was missing to make me whole, you know the complete of the puzzle.
It is not until recently when I had an argument with my mother that I realized, that my finances were not in order. I was hit with an income execution order and realized how financially unstable I am. I have a business that I have invested so much in with little return; I am living as if my meek paycheck (grateful) will sustain the lifestyle I am accustomed to…Heck, I can’t even afford a one bedroom apartment with the money I am making. I can’t save enough to move out of my mother’s home, and it indirectly affected my spiritual health.
The journey to complete healing must include money. Money, the abundance or lack thereof will take a toll on anyone. N.O.T.R.I.O.U.S. Big, said it best;” More Money More Problems…” and the lack thereof has the exact same effect. Even as I write this, I am feeling a twinge of pain because I feel stuck, my independence has been stripped from me. I am bound once again to a place, I never thought I would be. I am hurt, angry, disappointed, defeated…and yet I still cling to the HOPE of GOD that He will see me through this Wilderness Experience. I have prayed, cried, been still, pretended that everything is ok…
I asked God for a reset. And He answered. And I am taking the steps necessary to start over, do things right this time. Learn to have a healthy relationship with money. The same way I am pushing towards the mark of restoring my relationship with God. It takes discipline, but I am so ready.
I want to be TOTALLY FREE. (Spiritually Free, Mentally Free, Debt Free)