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Reclaiming My Time- Pressing the Reset Button #88 8/17 New Beginings

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Two years ago this month, August 2015, I wrote my first blog in an effort to heal myself from some things that were keeping me from my destiny and purpose.  The title was 8-1…The First Day of My New Beginnings.  I was so proud of myself.  Looking back at the post, I realized that I was still not completely honest, nor prepared for my healing process.  Maxine Waters did something that day in Congress that changed what I and fellow African-American women will no longer tolerate:  being silenced, talked over and man-splained.  It is a call for women and people of color to reclaim their time and power.

For me, it was a call to action to get back up, reclaim time lost and press the reset button on Tear The Veil, Inc.  I allowed “life” to shift my focus off my purpose and destiny to the cares of the world, and my season that God has already given me victory over.  I slowly and comfortably placed the “veil” back on, wallowed in my perception of how my life was going and dropped the ball on the path to my Destiny.  I revisited that post and decided to revise it the place in my life that I am now.

The number eight in the Bible signifies Resurrection and Regeneration. It is the number of a new beginning. Eight is 7 plus 1 and since it comes just after seven, which itself signifies an end to something, so eight is also associated with the beginning of a new era or that of a new order.

In 2016, I fell back into a spiritual coma,  having a breathing machine called “survival” where I rested in its safety to keep me alive and breathing.  I was not “brain dead” though.  I went to work, my brain had to be fully functional because I am a paralegal, excuse me..an Advanced Certified Paralegal in Contracts Management and Administration. Big Stuff! I am a wife, a mother of three wonderful children, two of them adults. I am an entrepreneur of two or three businesses.  I was alive, on a breathing machine but I was in a comatose state, trying to figure out, where my life was going…AGAIN!

“It’s in you” I would hear folks whisper. “Girl you got this, it’s in you, that’s what you do…” “OMG, Girl you are sitting on a gold mine with these products…”  But when I looked in the mirror, I still couldn’t see what they saw. The gifts, the potential, the talent; the opportunity to make money making products that “just came to me.”   Yet I was fighting to live. Life had taken its toll on me. Circumstances, valley moments, pain, hurt, disappointments, joy, laughter, happiness, all rolled into one.

There is a battle for my life, a war for my soul.   I fight daily to stay in the game of life. Satan has asked God permission to wreak havoc in my life on several occasions.  I am fighting, at times surrendering, but as August marks the 8th month of the year 2017, I am reclaiming my time lost, and pressing the reset button.  I am coming out of my coma and into my destiny that is waiting for me.

My day has come, my seasons are here! All that was within me is starting to become ALIVE. It took 3 months of “rehabilitation” my destiny gene is unlocking, my circle of friends is changing, my way of thinking is changing. I am awake, journeying into my DESTINY.

I look in the mirror and ask myself  “What is holding me back from living my BEST LIFE?”  The answer was simple…”ME”

Whenever anybody tries to distract me or block me (even with praise or platitudes) I’m gonna have to let them know that I’m #ReclaimingMyTime!!!!!!!”

There will be GLORY after this!!!

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Walking Through the Doors of Success, Alone and Afraid.

I am not a timid person, more “reserved”.  For a long time, I was ok being by myself, accepting rejection as a part of my life, and excusing the pain by justifying “the I’m only child” skit.  As I got older and wanted to do some things, more things, I complained often that I did not have any supportive friends, and used the same skit of “I’m ok, being alone, because I am an only child”.  So when entrepreneurship became a reality, and the reality of the importance of networking set in, I faced a challenge that I had never faced before: getting through the Door of Success.  The Universe (My God) handed me the keys some time ago, but I was too busy expecting reciprocation from those I had supported in the past, leaving me hurt and frustrated.  It took my friend, a person I met with a common vision to say, “but you have a circle of supportive women, you are just not looking at them…” She was right. They were there all time. Soooo….

I am changing my circle.  I am changing the way I think, I move, I operate.  With the leading of God, My heavenly Father, I am pushing past FEAR, defying the “Generation X” and like Madam C.J. walking “On My Own Grounds”.  I am going to be so intentional about taking “Me” to the next level, to truly walk into my Destiny that has been calling me for years now.

The first this I did was attend a Black Bloggers United Power Hour event…alone.  I stepped out of my comfort zone, I traveled in the snow to another NYC borough, to Kings (Brooklyn) from Queens to meet some amazing women.

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Being Intentional, Be Fearless, Be Bold

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From Wilderness to Promise

“The minute I get out of my own way, I will see the road ahead.” -Dominique McCullough.

I have been on this journey since 2015.  Maybe longer and I just was unaware.  My journey started out of pain, hurt and disappointment in myself mainly.  Conscious and unconscious actions and decisions led me down a path of self-destruction.  I had convinced myself that I was destined for a life of struggle.  I would get what I wanted, but it would come harder than everyone else.  As a result, I built this wall to keep hurt and pain away. If anyone tried to enter, I fought like hell.

Yes, I have been on this journey in search of my purpose, my reason for being.  My Destiny…“In the Messiah, He chose us in love before the creation of the universe to be holy and without defect in His presence”Ephesians 1:4 Complete Jewish Bible.  However, what I see is a broken little girl, who grew up to be a broken woman, in search of healing…

I have heard the voice of the prophets, I have heard the small still voice of the Holy Spirit.  I also heard the voice of Fear, and Doubt; Procrastination and Distraction.  Sets of “twins” whose job is to convince me that all God has said about me in Ephesians 1 is not true.  But I have pushed through it, fighting for what God has for me.  Not always leaning on Him, often times leaning on my own understanding.  But God keeps me, covers me, because “In all His wisdom and insight, He has made known His secret plan, which by His own will He designed beforehand in connection with the Messiah and will put into effect when the time is ripe-His plan to place everything in heaven and on Earth under the Messiah’s Headship.” Ephesians 1:8-10 Complete Jewish Bible.  Therefore His plan must come to fruition.  His purpose for me.

tumblr_ogylphrK4S1ut1kpfo1_1280When the launch of Tear The Veil, Inc. did not happen.  I was disappointed and embarrassed. I was faced with yet another hurdle, and although I really tried to tell myself, that this is all in God’s Plan, my mind, was working overtime to show me my failure.  One morning I woke up and found this in my inbox: You have endured everything from inconvenience to hardship with every circumstance leading to the understanding of life, people and yourself.  The lessons learned have been invaluable and ultimately have had the potential of making you stronger than you have ever been as you trust Me in all things.  You are truly being transformed into My image, says the Lord.
2 Corinthians 3:18 So all of us, with faces unveiled, see as in a mirror the glory of the Lord; and we are being changed into His image, from one degree of glory to the next, by Adonai the Spirit. That confirmed it all for me. Tear The Veil Inc., is going to launch as one of the most phenomenal women’s empowerment organizations in this nation…In His timing.

There is a purpose in the wilderness, my wilderness.  In 2015, I traveled to Bali and climbed to the top of the Batur Volcano Mountain.  It took two and half hours. I now understand Deuteronomy 8:2. God speaks to us in the wilderness.  God also humbles and proves us in the wilderness.  The wilderness period can last days, or years, depending on how quickly we learn its lessons.

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In the meantime, I am changing and building a new circle of women, leaving some folks behind, stepping out on faith, doing it Afraid and Alone. WALKING INTO MY DESTINY!!!!

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Being Intentional, Being Bold

It’s International Women’s Day! And I am changing my circle.  I am changing the way I think, I move, I operate.  With the leading of God, My heavenly Father, I am pushing past FEAR, defying the “Generation X” and like Madam C.J. “On My Own Grounds”.  I am going to so intentional about taking “Me” to the next level, to truly walk into my Destiny that has been calling me for years now.quote-i-have-crossed-over-on-the-backs-of-sojourner-truth-harriet-tubman-fannie-lou-hamer-oprah-winfrey-76-53-88

Happy International Women’S Day #BeIntentional and #BeBoldForChange

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I am in the Purpose Room

How many different ways does someone have to tell you what you what you already know?  How difficult is it to really stand in your purpose so that you can get to your destiny?

During this Lenten Season 2017, my fast will be non-traditional.  Growing up Catholic, we were taught that we must sacrifice our fleshy pleasures for 40 days.  I never understood why, because it is not Biblical and Jesus already atoned for our sins so that we do not have to do these rituals of atonement with whom exactly? God or Self?  In this season, I will fast as commanded by my Lod and Savior Jesus Christ.  “But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, that your fasting may not be seen by others but by your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.”-Matthew 6:17-18.  I will say this, though, I will be in THE PURPOSE ROOM

Passion + Purpose = Destiny

There is a wall.  It is mental. I am reminded of the scripture in Romans 7 “the spirit is willing bu the flesh is weak…” Weak to the invisible wounds that I won’t allow to heal. Allowing myself to be trapped in it because it acts as a shield again pain, hurt and disappointment.  Bishop T.D. Jakes said it best in his book ” Your Mind may guide you in what you do, but your heart affirms your passion for doing it, and that leads you to resolve the way of your life…As you stand back from yourself and see the push of instincts welded with the pull of purpose that leads you into destiny,  you will know the events and circumstances in your life equate to more than just coincidences or mere facts.  The coming together of all of these events and connections, some seemingly random, are the results of divine orchestration to empower to accomplish what God has placed in you.” Destiny: Stepping into your Purpose by Bishop T.D. Jakes.  Like I said, its mental.  I had to chuckle at this passage because, the day before writing this blog, I was sitting in the laundromat, minding my own business, and this woman, randomly (lol) struck up a conversation, about DVD’s that led to the sharing of her failed marriage and confessions of adultery.  I chuckle because of the weekend prior to that encounter, a woman whispered in my ear “Women need to hear our voice…”

I am reading the “Purpose Room” by Heather Lindsey.  I read the sample first. I should have known better. Her books are amazing. I no longer have any excuses as to why I cannot do what God has purposed me to do.  I know that God has a plan for my life.  I am hearing the call so much clearer now.

I have a story, deeply rooted in childhood experiences, distorted by my childhood views and adult point of view. Experiences that served as the pieces of fabric woven together to create the “veil” I am so desperately wanting to tear.

I am finally seeing past the confetti…Finally seeing who God has purposed and destined me to be me to be…16999091_10212289967268694_4978916473972594682_n.jpg

Stepping into my Destiny

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BeyGoals- Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

 

In this blog post, I want to honor one of the strongest Black Female Artist of this generation.  Say what you want about Beyonce, but even fellow female artist Adele, had to give respect where respect is due.  During her Grammy Award acceptance speech, she stated: “…the way that you make me and my friends feel, the way you make my black friends feel, is empowering.”  She (Adele) was talking about the Album “Lemonade”.  I have to admit that, indeed that album was by far the best call to the world that Black Women are a force NOT to be reckoned with.  With “Formation” she served notice to ALL that she loves her family exactly as they are… And herself, too. Radical. Self. LOVE.

With that said, Bey came under fire (again) about her Madonna-like image and the display of her very much pregnant body.  So clearly they did not get the message in Lemonade.

Psalm 139:14 says: “I thank you because I am awesomely made, wonderfully; your works are wonders -I know this very well. (Complete Jewish Bible Version); the King James Version says “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well..  Either way, Our Creator designed us as Black women so well, that other ethnic groups and race, go through changes to achieve what God gave us naturally.

“Historically, black women’s bodies have been utterly disrespected. We nurtured and fed other race’s children from our breasts. We were raped and bore children for slave masters. And yet, were made ashamed of our bodies, our curves, our blackness.
We were treated as concubines and receptacles for a man’s seed–and frankly, sometimes we still are. Other races are consistently celebrated and heralded for motherhood. Black women are not–definitely not consistently.  
Beyoncé’s performance was a declarative statement. Black women carry and give life beautifully. And that is NOTHING to be ashamed of.
I am a Christian. I am fearfully and wonderfully made–in God’s image. And that includes my blackness. And that includes my femininity. Psalm 139:14 can’t just apply to whom and when you want. I celebrate all the parts of who I am–not just the parts that feed others’ needs or makes them comfortable. *walks away*” –Adeea Rogers of TrendySocialite-

And I concur!

 

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Dropped it in 2016

I knew that God wanted to do something new in my life and heal the wounds of my past.  I was so sure, that when the theme came to my spirit, I was confident that I was hearing the voice of God.  “From Girlhood to Womanhood…A Journey- Healing the Invisible Wounds.”  A voice within that needed to be heard, because I was all too familiar with the “invisible wounds”.  The date was set. November 11, 2016.  I was excited, determined, but also without direction and guidance from the One who called me… Adonai, El-Shaddai, My Lord, My Father.  I trusted people to help me carry this vision.  I was promised a venue.  I had speakers lined up. I had sponsors.  The harder I worked, the harder it got.  I was looking for support from friends and family, but when that did not seem to happen, I allowed disappointment, self-doubt, and failure to consume me. I was talking a good game of faith but didn’t have any.  I found myself alone, hurt and disappointed…Right, where God wanted me.

Yes, God did want to do something new in my life and heal the wounds of my past.  Yes, I know that part of my destiny is to help other women.  He was bringing back to my remembrance the Prophetic Word over my life concerning this, and in my mind, what better time to go forth than when I myself am going through…We can all heal together, right?

We often times like to assign blame to the enemy what it is God saying “No, not yet.”  I was convinced that the enemy was trying to silence me. Keep me from my Purpose and Destiny by throwing distractions my way.  The harder I fought, the weaker I got.  I am not a quitter so I held on until I had no choice but to “let go”.  To drop it, and admit defeat and failure.  Leaving me feeling embarrassed.

Willing to “Let Go” of the Old.

“Letting go” seemed to be a common theme for me toward the end of 2016.  I have been searching for the door to freedom.  Looking back at my blog posts here on  Unveiled By Dominique, I saw the detailing of my different journeys but like the Israelites searching for the Promise Land, going around in a circle.  I started on a 40 Day Journey and only got up to Day 15.  I didn’t know what I was holding on to.  I mean, I did…Something in my childhood.  A familiar feeling, a spirit that plagued me all of my life.  I just could not identify it.   There seemed to be an unwillingness to face my own demons and heal.  Holding on to the pain because it justified my current situation.  When that “demon” is all you know, “letting go” is not easy.

All Things work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose.

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Peacefulness- Day 7 (One Day My Soul Opened Up)

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What do we do when we are stuck in a troubling situation with nowhere to run? Maybe, like the disciples who were stuck in a life-threatening storm, we run to Jesus (Mark 4:35-41). Sometimes, however, we may try to bail ourselves out of trouble by seeking revenge, slandering the one who has caused our problem, or just cowering fearfully in the corner as we sink into despair.

We need to learn from the disciples who fled to Jesus as their only hope. He may not bail us out immediately, but remembering that He is in our boat makes a difference! Thankfully, He is always with us in the storms of life, saying things like “Peace, be still!” (v.39). So, look for Him in your storm and let Him fill you with the peace that comes from knowing He is near.

Lord, teach us to run to You in the midst of trouble.
Forgive us for trying to bail ourselves out, and lead
us to the peace of trusting Your wisdom and ultimate
deliverance. Thank You that You will help us!
Make Jesus your first option when the storms of life threaten you.

 

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Willing to be Creative… Day 5 & 6 (One Day My Soul Just Opened Up)

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Sometimes when on a journey, we become weary because when we look ahead, the end of said journey appears to be unattainable.  I got to day 5 of “One Day my Soul Opened Up” and got stuck.  On what exactly, I am not sure.  But I am continuing this journey because I know what lies ahead and the voice that needs to be heard.

Willingness

“Thy WILL be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven…”  “Whatsoever you loose on Earth,  will be loosed In Heaven, Whatsoever you bound on Earth will be bound in Heaven…” WILLINGNESS… The controlling and directive faculty of the mind that determines consciousness and character. (One Day My Soul Opened Up, Day 5 p. 51).  in 2008 when God asked me to be transparent before His people, I flat out told God NO! My reason was that I was not willing to be vulnerable, to allow people behind my veil, to show a sign of weakness before people who thought I had it all together.  God began to reveal to me my life in a way I had not seen it before.  It was not until August of 2015, that I began to get a glimpse of what was holding me back from my purpose.  I often think of Jesus, when He was in the Garden of Gethsemane and in a moment, He asked God the Father “Take this cup from me…Not my will but your will…”  To be willing to do something takes courage.  Jesus Christ was willing to endure all of that pain so that we may have life everlasting.  At the time I was not courageous enough to tell people that I was broken person inside living under the shadows of my childhood.  In one of my previous blogs “Broken Crayons Still Color”  I was reminded that out of my brokenness, God had multiplied something… now I have something to be able to share with others, a truth, a testimony about what is now an empowerment movement, a Women’s Empowerment Movement called Tear the Veil Inc.

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“That word is ‘willing.’ It’s an attitude and spirit of cooperation that should permeate our conversations. It’s like a palm tree by the ocean that endures the greatest winds because it knows how to gracefully bend.” -Stephen Kendrick

 

Creativity

The invisible force behind all things seen.  Ponder on that for a moment. In the beginning, God created the Heaven and the Earth… And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the water-Genesis 1:1-2.  The Invisible Force behind all things seen.  That is Creativity defined.  Creativity comes from the inside and then comes out.  It starts with a thought; going back to the Book of Genesis, when God created the Earth, He realized that the Earth He had just created was without form and void..And He moved upon the face of the waters and said ‘Let there be light…And guess what? There was light.  If we are all created in the image of God, ad we have the likeness of God, then we are just as creative as God.  But we fail to tape into that creativity at times because our thoughts are a reflection of our experiences.  What does that mean? I was unwilling to be creative because I was in a broken space. I was not allowing my thoughts and word produce results, because I refused to act on it.  Iyanly Vanzant says the creation process is: Thoughts + Word + Action= Results.  Without those three, there is no result.  Period.

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What are you WILLING to CREATE Today?

 

Daddy are you listening? Prayer-The Direct Line to God. Day-3 (One Day My Soul Just Opened Up) 

I remember as a kid playing this game called telephone. There were actually two types of game with same name. One where you would take two cans, poke a whole at the end of the can, insert a cord and connect it to the other end of the second can.
In the other , a message is given to the first person in a line of people and then they are instructed to pass the message on by whispering it in the ear of the next person in line. The message goes from person to person until it reaches the end of the line, and that person announces the message to the group. In most cases, the message that is announced to the group is significantly different from the message that was originally given to the first person in the line. While the game is amusing, it also teaches us an important lesson that people often forget.

These game are the difference between talking to God and talking to people.

Prayer
Prayer is simply defined as communication with God. Think about a close friendship you have. Sure, that person is there for you when you need them, but you talk to them all the time, don’t you? You share your lives, don’t you? Well, God wants to be your best friend. You can tell Him everything and anything, you can laugh with Him, you can talk about your day with Him, you can be honest with Him, you can express the desires of your heart with Him. The bottom line is He wants to hear it all! God greatly desires that you have intimate, personal communication with Him.
For me, my communication with God was through journaling. I remember how I couldn’t wait to “write” God all of daily thoughts, activities, wants and desires. I would always start off with “Dear Daddy…” And like a child tell Him everything. One day, my husband read my journal and discovered some things about me. He was angry. He called me and read parts of my journal entries to me and my whole world was shattered. All I remember saying to him was ” that’s my private conversations with God…” His response was as venomous as a snake, ” You’re talking to God about this, well you better be talking to me…” I was devastated. Not because of what he read my journal, but because personal conversations with God were no longer sacred. I felt violated, raped even. I never wrote again and I stopped talking to God. I had lost my best friend. He was taken away from me. I became afraid to pray because I felt as if my relationship was no longer personal. I dabbed in it out habit, desperation, but I knew I had disconnected myself.
It’s been 7 years since that day. And I am now ready to return to that place, that secret place in God.

I have been out of alignment for some time now rendering my prayers ineffective. Subconsciously, I would pray for things that were sure. Provision, God said He would provide, Protection, God said He would be my protection. Covering for my children, a no brainer for God.
Getting Back to Familiar Waters
I am have made up in my mind, that I am going to stop blaming God and people for the things that went wrong in my life. I am taking full responsibility for my life so that my prayers are answered quick and fast.
Therefore, this time around Prayer will be a re-alignment with what already exists in me and open my mind to the revelation of this existence in the the world around me. I will be specific in my prayers, just as God said to do in Luke 11:9-13.

I am a child of God; Princess to the Holy King. Greater is He that is in me, than he that is in the world!

Daddy!!!! Are you listening?   I’m coming Home!!!

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