Walking Through the Doors of Success, Alone and Afraid.

I am not a timid person, more “reserved”.  For a long time, I was ok being by myself, accepting rejection as a part of my life, and excusing the pain by justifying “the I’m only child” skit.  As I got older and wanted to do some things, more things, I complained often that I did not have any supportive friends, and used the same skit of “I’m ok, being alone, because I am an only child”.  So when entrepreneurship became a reality, and the reality of the importance of networking set in, I faced a challenge that I had never faced before: getting through the Door of Success.  The Universe (My God) handed me the keys some time ago, but I was too busy expecting reciprocation from those I had supported in the past, leaving me hurt and frustrated.  It took my friend, a person I met with a common vision to say, “but you have a circle of supportive women, you are just not looking at them…” She was right. They were there all time. Soooo….

I am changing my circle.  I am changing the way I think, I move, I operate.  With the leading of God, My heavenly Father, I am pushing past FEAR, defying the “Generation X” and like Madam C.J. walking “On My Own Grounds”.  I am going to be so intentional about taking “Me” to the next level, to truly walk into my Destiny that has been calling me for years now.

The first this I did was attend a Black Bloggers United Power Hour event…alone.  I stepped out of my comfort zone, I traveled in the snow to another NYC borough, to Kings (Brooklyn) from Queens to meet some amazing women.

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Being Intentional, Be Fearless, Be Bold

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In the Stillness… Meditation- Day 4 (One Day My Soul Just Opened Up)

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As a Christian woman, the word “meditate” is completely different then the traditional belief of what meditation is.  Does that make sense? So I am on day 4 and the working definition of meditation is “Stillness”. It is defined as the “stilling of the physical/conscious mind to all external stimuli…A steady effort of the mind to know and hear the voice of God from within the being… The act of not doing…”  

Hear the voice of God from within the being… The act of not doing…”  

In her book, Iyanla Vanzant repeatedly used the phrase “Be Still and Know.”  This takes me to the story when Jesus and the disciples were on the boat, and the storm was ragging and Jesus was resting in the midst of it.  The disciples were frantic, waking Jesus up and asking him what He was going to do. In frustration,  Jesus simply said: “Peace Be Still!!!”He then goes on the ask them, why they were scared, and where was their faith?

When quiet you mind to all the things around you and quiet your own fears, the power will become activated.  Jesus was on the boat, the Power was with them and they did not realize it because they did not allow themselves to be still as Jesus was.

How often do we ask God for everything, but we don’t stop to listen or to be still?   The act of being still and getting quiet becomes more of a challenge in our hectic world. The world asks us to be busy. God asks us to be still so that we can receive love, peace and guidance.

Along with busyness comes the fearful and anxious thoughts we hold onto. It’s been stated that we have upwards of 50,000 thoughts a day. We must learn to tell our fearful and anxious thoughts to shut up, just as Jesus calmed the sea.

Quieting the mind, shutting up the mind requires practice. One powerful way to shut up thoughts that don’t serve us is by practicing meditation.

For whatever reason, meditation has not been a mainstay of traditional Christian, religious organizations.  Prayer and Bible reading are encouraged as well as the occasional mention of contemplative prayer, but not so much meditation.  Jesus, John the Baptist and others went off to meditate and to take themselves away from the hectic world.

Romans 12:2 says, “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.”  Meditation helps to renew the mind, to be still, to let go and surrender, to shut up the thoughts that do not serve us.

I am intimidated by silence.  Silence can cause me to address issues that I might be running from.  It’s easy to fill each day with busyness and then block out concerns through Internet surfing and social media.  None of these activities are bad.  However, if they are used to fill a void that is not being filled, over time, the toll will manifest itself in lost opportunities and lost dreams never being fulfilled.

The next time you have fearful and anxious thoughts that are raging within you like a violent storm, do as Jesus did. Silence those thoughts by saying, “Peace, be still.” When you need strength and help, let go and rest in God, your refuge. “Be still and know that I am God.”

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Daddy are you listening? Prayer-The Direct Line to God. Day-3 (One Day My Soul Just Opened Up) 

I remember as a kid playing this game called telephone. There were actually two types of game with same name. One where you would take two cans, poke a whole at the end of the can, insert a cord and connect it to the other end of the second can.
In the other , a message is given to the first person in a line of people and then they are instructed to pass the message on by whispering it in the ear of the next person in line. The message goes from person to person until it reaches the end of the line, and that person announces the message to the group. In most cases, the message that is announced to the group is significantly different from the message that was originally given to the first person in the line. While the game is amusing, it also teaches us an important lesson that people often forget.

These game are the difference between talking to God and talking to people.

Prayer
Prayer is simply defined as communication with God. Think about a close friendship you have. Sure, that person is there for you when you need them, but you talk to them all the time, don’t you? You share your lives, don’t you? Well, God wants to be your best friend. You can tell Him everything and anything, you can laugh with Him, you can talk about your day with Him, you can be honest with Him, you can express the desires of your heart with Him. The bottom line is He wants to hear it all! God greatly desires that you have intimate, personal communication with Him.
For me, my communication with God was through journaling. I remember how I couldn’t wait to “write” God all of daily thoughts, activities, wants and desires. I would always start off with “Dear Daddy…” And like a child tell Him everything. One day, my husband read my journal and discovered some things about me. He was angry. He called me and read parts of my journal entries to me and my whole world was shattered. All I remember saying to him was ” that’s my private conversations with God…” His response was as venomous as a snake, ” You’re talking to God about this, well you better be talking to me…” I was devastated. Not because of what he read my journal, but because personal conversations with God were no longer sacred. I felt violated, raped even. I never wrote again and I stopped talking to God. I had lost my best friend. He was taken away from me. I became afraid to pray because I felt as if my relationship was no longer personal. I dabbed in it out habit, desperation, but I knew I had disconnected myself.
It’s been 7 years since that day. And I am now ready to return to that place, that secret place in God.

I have been out of alignment for some time now rendering my prayers ineffective. Subconsciously, I would pray for things that were sure. Provision, God said He would provide, Protection, God said He would be my protection. Covering for my children, a no brainer for God.
Getting Back to Familiar Waters
I am have made up in my mind, that I am going to stop blaming God and people for the things that went wrong in my life. I am taking full responsibility for my life so that my prayers are answered quick and fast.
Therefore, this time around Prayer will be a re-alignment with what already exists in me and open my mind to the revelation of this existence in the the world around me. I will be specific in my prayers, just as God said to do in Luke 11:9-13.

I am a child of God; Princess to the Holy King. Greater is He that is in me, than he that is in the world!

Daddy!!!! Are you listening?   I’m coming Home!!!

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The Trust Factor Day-2 (One Day My Soul Just Opened Up)

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When I think of “TRUST” I think about all the times I put my trust in someone only to be left disappointed in their failure to perform or meet my expectations.  I did not even trust God.  Funny because I knew to call on him when I needed something and trusted that He would make it happen; I trusted Him enough to know that He would keep me safe, and even thanked Him every time He did. Putting my trust IN God is a whole different topic.  As I began to grow in Christ, and learn more about who He is, I was always in awe, (as a parent) about how Abraham trusted God so much that he was willing to sacrifice his son of promise, just because God said so. Though I know the reason and the result of Abraham’s obedience, I still find it hard to trust God in all things concerning me.  This is why I am on this journey.

TRUST: The reliance upon God for sustenance and supply.  Yep, I am good with that.  A mental and emotional recognition and acceptance that the presence of God as the ultimate good is all-powerful and everywhere present.  Mental.  Nope.  Emotional, yes.  See, if I could just get my mental to align with my spiritual,  all will be right with my world. (excerpt from One Day My Soul Just Opened Up, p. 32)

It has  taken me a very long time to trust God in everything.  I trust Him in some things, but not EVERYTHING.  I often look back on my childhood, and wonder why God allowed those things to happen.  If He loved me so much, why didn’t He protect me.  However, all of this was not revealed to me until I gave my life over to Christ, accepting Him as my Lord and Savior.  It was like eating the forbidden fruit of Knowledge.  Now that I was made aware of Who He is to me,  I looked back over my life and said “Wait, so where were you when…?” “So you let…happen and never stepped in and saved me? “Why did you wait so long to reveal Yourself to me?” I then became angry with God because I felt that He had betrayed a TRUST in Him I didn’t know I was supposed to have in the first place.

When I truly look back over my life, I did have a Divine TRUST, that trust that is inherent to my soul. What I failed to do was TRUST God to provide me with the wisdom to make the right decision in every circumstance in my life.  TRUST Him where you can’t Trace Him. Walk by Faith, not by sight. Easier said than done when what you see, does not align with what you believe.

What I realize now is that I TRUSTED in my own ability, and not God’s Infinite Wisdom to direct me.

Moving forward, I will “TRUST in God to provide me with the wisdom to make the right decision under every circumstance I encounter. (Iyanla Vanzant One Day My Soul Just Opened Up, Day Two).

I am on my way to being God’s version of me.

I am TRUSTING the process.

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Destiny is pushing my Purpose to move

How many different ways does someone have to tell you what you what you already know?  How difficult is it to really stand in your purpose so that you can get to your destiny?

Passion + Purpose = Destiny

There is a wall.  It is mental. I am reminded of the scripture in Romans 7 “the spirit is willing bu the flesh is weak…” Weak to the invisible wounds that I won’t allow to heal. Allowing myself to be trapped in it because it acts as a shield again pain, hurt and disappointment.  Bishop T.D. Jakes said it best in his book ” Your Mind may guide you in what you do, but your heart affirms your passion for doing it, and that leads you to resolve the way of your life…As you stand back from yourself and see the push of instincts welded with the pull of purpose that leads you into destiny,  you will know the events and circumstances in your life equate to more than just coincidences or mere facts.  The coming together of all of these events and connections, some seemingly random, are the results of divine orchestration to empower to accomplish what God has placed in you.” Destiny: Stepping into your Purpose by Bishop T.D. Jakes.  Like I said, its mental.  I had to chuckle at this passage because, the day before writing this blog, I was sitting in the laundromat, minding my own business, and this woman, randomly (lol) struck up a conversation, about DVD’s that led to the sharing of her failed marriage and confessions of adultery.  I chuckle because of the weekend prior to that encounter, a woman whispered in my ear “Women need to hear our voice…”

I have a story, deeply rooted in childhood experiences, distorted by my childhood views and adult point view. Experiences that served as the pieces of fabric woven together to create the “veil” I am so desperately wanting to tear.

If only I could see past the confetti…to see who God has purposed me to be…

Tear The Veil. Inc.

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Coming out of my Comfort Zone

my life and my mind are struggling to line up with my spirit, fighting with the spirit in me to keep me bound (Romans 7).

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The time has come the and the hour is now, that the Father seeks those that will worship Him in Spirit and in TRUTH. John 4:23

Truth… It is the Absolute, that which reveals and is in accord with the will of God as the governing principle of life. -Iyanlya Vanzant.

Truth 1- God is Life, God is Spirit, God is Mind, God is the only power that is in control of life, spirit, and mind.

This has always been a challenge for me, even now as a Woman of God, no longer a “babe in Christ”.  I have always been of the belief that we are put on this Earth to “do”, and then you die.  I was taught that God is this unattainable being, that only the worthy, titled men of God can communicate with.  Growing up Catholic, my spirit never believed that.  I never embraced praying to saints, though I did because that is what I was taught. My spirit knew that it had a direct connection with God the Son. It was not until later in life that I came to realize the true meaning the Trinity, God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit. And still, my life and my mind are struggling to line up with my spirit, fighting with the spirit in me to keep me bound (Romans 7).

Truth 2- There is a Godly order to everything in life.

I am exactly where God purposed I should be.  No matter how it looks. A hard pill to swallow.  Especially when things are not going right, or at least in accordance with what I believe is not right in my life.  God has me exactly where He wants me according to His will and purpose for me. Sometimes I believe that, sometimes…

Truth 3- Everybody is born to fulfill a divine purpose and God has given us everything we will ever need to fulfill that purpose.

That was something I was completely unaware of.  Which is why, when the words of “Prophecy” was spoken over my life concerning helping women, and being wealthy, and being in business, it was unthinkable as I scrutinized my life and who and where I was at that time.

CHALLENGE: Learning to live what I know is Truth every day, no matter what I think I see.

What I have come to realize is that I am aware the Truth but I am having a hard time applying the Truth to my life, because my life is not seemingly reflective of what God has predestined for me.  I am learning that there is a process that I must trust. And in trusting that process, I must not waver in what I know is the TRUTH.

I must remember that Everybody is born to fulfill a Divine Purpose, and God has given us everything we need to fulfill that purpose. God Believes in ME!!!!

Removing the Veil, one day at a time.

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A Year Ago Today, Destiny was calling my name.

A year ago today, I was inspired by the preaching of Joel Olsteen, who preached a message of “The Destiny Gene”.  I was motivated to unlock my Destiny gene.  In that message, something …

Source: A Year Ago Today, Destiny was calling my name.