From Wilderness to Promise

“The minute I get out of my own way, I will see the road ahead.” -Dominique McCullough.

I have been on this journey since 2015.  Maybe longer and I just was unaware.  My journey started out of pain, hurt and disappointment in myself mainly.  Conscious and unconscious actions and decisions led me down a path of self-destruction.  I had convinced myself that I was destined for a life of struggle.  I would get what I wanted, but it would come harder than everyone else.  As a result, I built this wall to keep hurt and pain away. If anyone tried to enter, I fought like hell.

Yes, I have been on this journey in search of my purpose, my reason for being.  My Destiny…“In the Messiah, He chose us in love before the creation of the universe to be holy and without defect in His presence”Ephesians 1:4 Complete Jewish Bible.  However, what I see is a broken little girl, who grew up to be a broken woman, in search of healing…

I have heard the voice of the prophets, I have heard the small still voice of the Holy Spirit.  I also heard the voice of Fear, and Doubt; Procrastination and Distraction.  Sets of “twins” whose job is to convince me that all God has said about me in Ephesians 1 is not true.  But I have pushed through it, fighting for what God has for me.  Not always leaning on Him, often times leaning on my own understanding.  But God keeps me, covers me, because “In all His wisdom and insight, He has made known His secret plan, which by His own will He designed beforehand in connection with the Messiah and will put into effect when the time is ripe-His plan to place everything in heaven and on Earth under the Messiah’s Headship.” Ephesians 1:8-10 Complete Jewish Bible.  Therefore His plan must come to fruition.  His purpose for me.

tumblr_ogylphrK4S1ut1kpfo1_1280When the launch of Tear The Veil, Inc. did not happen.  I was disappointed and embarrassed. I was faced with yet another hurdle, and although I really tried to tell myself, that this is all in God’s Plan, my mind, was working overtime to show me my failure.  One morning I woke up and found this in my inbox: You have endured everything from inconvenience to hardship with every circumstance leading to the understanding of life, people and yourself.  The lessons learned have been invaluable and ultimately have had the potential of making you stronger than you have ever been as you trust Me in all things.  You are truly being transformed into My image, says the Lord.
2 Corinthians 3:18 So all of us, with faces unveiled, see as in a mirror the glory of the Lord; and we are being changed into His image, from one degree of glory to the next, by Adonai the Spirit. That confirmed it all for me. Tear The Veil Inc., is going to launch as one of the most phenomenal women’s empowerment organizations in this nation…In His timing.

There is a purpose in the wilderness, my wilderness.  In 2015, I traveled to Bali and climbed to the top of the Batur Volcano Mountain.  It took two and half hours. I now understand Deuteronomy 8:2. God speaks to us in the wilderness.  God also humbles and proves us in the wilderness.  The wilderness period can last days, or years, depending on how quickly we learn its lessons.

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In the meantime, I am changing and building a new circle of women, leaving some folks behind, stepping out on faith, doing it Afraid and Alone. WALKING INTO MY DESTINY!!!!

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I am in the Purpose Room

How many different ways does someone have to tell you what you what you already know?  How difficult is it to really stand in your purpose so that you can get to your destiny?

During this Lenten Season 2017, my fast will be non-traditional.  Growing up Catholic, we were taught that we must sacrifice our fleshy pleasures for 40 days.  I never understood why, because it is not Biblical and Jesus already atoned for our sins so that we do not have to do these rituals of atonement with whom exactly? God or Self?  In this season, I will fast as commanded by my Lod and Savior Jesus Christ.  “But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, that your fasting may not be seen by others but by your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.”-Matthew 6:17-18.  I will say this, though, I will be in THE PURPOSE ROOM

Passion + Purpose = Destiny

There is a wall.  It is mental. I am reminded of the scripture in Romans 7 “the spirit is willing bu the flesh is weak…” Weak to the invisible wounds that I won’t allow to heal. Allowing myself to be trapped in it because it acts as a shield again pain, hurt and disappointment.  Bishop T.D. Jakes said it best in his book ” Your Mind may guide you in what you do, but your heart affirms your passion for doing it, and that leads you to resolve the way of your life…As you stand back from yourself and see the push of instincts welded with the pull of purpose that leads you into destiny,  you will know the events and circumstances in your life equate to more than just coincidences or mere facts.  The coming together of all of these events and connections, some seemingly random, are the results of divine orchestration to empower to accomplish what God has placed in you.” Destiny: Stepping into your Purpose by Bishop T.D. Jakes.  Like I said, its mental.  I had to chuckle at this passage because, the day before writing this blog, I was sitting in the laundromat, minding my own business, and this woman, randomly (lol) struck up a conversation, about DVD’s that led to the sharing of her failed marriage and confessions of adultery.  I chuckle because of the weekend prior to that encounter, a woman whispered in my ear “Women need to hear our voice…”

I am reading the “Purpose Room” by Heather Lindsey.  I read the sample first. I should have known better. Her books are amazing. I no longer have any excuses as to why I cannot do what God has purposed me to do.  I know that God has a plan for my life.  I am hearing the call so much clearer now.

I have a story, deeply rooted in childhood experiences, distorted by my childhood views and adult point of view. Experiences that served as the pieces of fabric woven together to create the “veil” I am so desperately wanting to tear.

I am finally seeing past the confetti…Finally seeing who God has purposed and destined me to be me to be…16999091_10212289967268694_4978916473972594682_n.jpg

Stepping into my Destiny

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Dropped it in 2016

I knew that God wanted to do something new in my life and heal the wounds of my past.  I was so sure, that when the theme came to my spirit, I was confident that I was hearing the voice of God.  “From Girlhood to Womanhood…A Journey- Healing the Invisible Wounds.”  A voice within that needed to be heard, because I was all too familiar with the “invisible wounds”.  The date was set. November 11, 2016.  I was excited, determined, but also without direction and guidance from the One who called me… Adonai, El-Shaddai, My Lord, My Father.  I trusted people to help me carry this vision.  I was promised a venue.  I had speakers lined up. I had sponsors.  The harder I worked, the harder it got.  I was looking for support from friends and family, but when that did not seem to happen, I allowed disappointment, self-doubt, and failure to consume me. I was talking a good game of faith but didn’t have any.  I found myself alone, hurt and disappointed…Right, where God wanted me.

Yes, God did want to do something new in my life and heal the wounds of my past.  Yes, I know that part of my destiny is to help other women.  He was bringing back to my remembrance the Prophetic Word over my life concerning this, and in my mind, what better time to go forth than when I myself am going through…We can all heal together, right?

We often times like to assign blame to the enemy what it is God saying “No, not yet.”  I was convinced that the enemy was trying to silence me. Keep me from my Purpose and Destiny by throwing distractions my way.  The harder I fought, the weaker I got.  I am not a quitter so I held on until I had no choice but to “let go”.  To drop it, and admit defeat and failure.  Leaving me feeling embarrassed.

Willing to “Let Go” of the Old.

“Letting go” seemed to be a common theme for me toward the end of 2016.  I have been searching for the door to freedom.  Looking back at my blog posts here on  Unveiled By Dominique, I saw the detailing of my different journeys but like the Israelites searching for the Promise Land, going around in a circle.  I started on a 40 Day Journey and only got up to Day 15.  I didn’t know what I was holding on to.  I mean, I did…Something in my childhood.  A familiar feeling, a spirit that plagued me all of my life.  I just could not identify it.   There seemed to be an unwillingness to face my own demons and heal.  Holding on to the pain because it justified my current situation.  When that “demon” is all you know, “letting go” is not easy.

All Things work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose.

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In the Stillness… Meditation- Day 4 (One Day My Soul Just Opened Up)

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As a Christian woman, the word “meditate” is completely different then the traditional belief of what meditation is.  Does that make sense? So I am on day 4 and the working definition of meditation is “Stillness”. It is defined as the “stilling of the physical/conscious mind to all external stimuli…A steady effort of the mind to know and hear the voice of God from within the being… The act of not doing…”  

Hear the voice of God from within the being… The act of not doing…”  

In her book, Iyanla Vanzant repeatedly used the phrase “Be Still and Know.”  This takes me to the story when Jesus and the disciples were on the boat, and the storm was ragging and Jesus was resting in the midst of it.  The disciples were frantic, waking Jesus up and asking him what He was going to do. In frustration,  Jesus simply said: “Peace Be Still!!!”He then goes on the ask them, why they were scared, and where was their faith?

When quiet you mind to all the things around you and quiet your own fears, the power will become activated.  Jesus was on the boat, the Power was with them and they did not realize it because they did not allow themselves to be still as Jesus was.

How often do we ask God for everything, but we don’t stop to listen or to be still?   The act of being still and getting quiet becomes more of a challenge in our hectic world. The world asks us to be busy. God asks us to be still so that we can receive love, peace and guidance.

Along with busyness comes the fearful and anxious thoughts we hold onto. It’s been stated that we have upwards of 50,000 thoughts a day. We must learn to tell our fearful and anxious thoughts to shut up, just as Jesus calmed the sea.

Quieting the mind, shutting up the mind requires practice. One powerful way to shut up thoughts that don’t serve us is by practicing meditation.

For whatever reason, meditation has not been a mainstay of traditional Christian, religious organizations.  Prayer and Bible reading are encouraged as well as the occasional mention of contemplative prayer, but not so much meditation.  Jesus, John the Baptist and others went off to meditate and to take themselves away from the hectic world.

Romans 12:2 says, “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.”  Meditation helps to renew the mind, to be still, to let go and surrender, to shut up the thoughts that do not serve us.

I am intimidated by silence.  Silence can cause me to address issues that I might be running from.  It’s easy to fill each day with busyness and then block out concerns through Internet surfing and social media.  None of these activities are bad.  However, if they are used to fill a void that is not being filled, over time, the toll will manifest itself in lost opportunities and lost dreams never being fulfilled.

The next time you have fearful and anxious thoughts that are raging within you like a violent storm, do as Jesus did. Silence those thoughts by saying, “Peace, be still.” When you need strength and help, let go and rest in God, your refuge. “Be still and know that I am God.”

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